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NBA star John Wall has dealt with some challenges in his life both on and off the court. In 2019, his beloved mother, Frances died of breast cancer. The now 33-year-old said his pain was intense, describing his mother as his “best friend.”

In the wake of her death, Wall said that he put a gun to his head, twice. He made the revelation his on The OGs podcast, hosted by former Miami Heat teammates Udonis Haslem and Mike Miller.

Though he has talked about this issue before, this is the first time Wall explicitly stated that his anguish led him to not just thinking about, but actually coming close to committing suicide.

“I put a gun to my head twice and a lot of people that are close to me, friends at the time didn’t know,” Wall said. He called losing his mother his “darkest moment,” followed by losing his grandmother a little over a year later.

Wall has a tattoo on his neck in memory of his mother.

Wall said that dealing with numerous injuries while with the Washington Wizards added to his declining mental state as well as a video that surfaced with him throwing up gang signs.

“Twice I wanted to commit suicide,” Wall said. He says ultimately, his two young sons are what made him seek help.

“If I take myself away from this Earth, I’m failing my kids, like, who gon’ be able to raise them,” Wall said. “I know I gotta be there for them.”

Wall said he continues to be in therapy and says that he thinks no Black man should be ashamed of seeking help.

“If you ever feel like you in a spot where you not comfortable as a Black man, African American, or any race, no offense to that, go get help. It’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. “I had to figure that out or I wouldn’t be here today.”

Wall’s last team was the L.A. Clippers but this season, he remains a free agent. He says he believes he can still help a squad as a backup player and no longer has to be the main option.

Wall told Haslem and Miller, “I don’t care about being an All-Star guy who was averaging 20 and 10 before. I might not be that same player. Last year, I was averaging 11 and 7 in 20 minutes. So I feel like I could still help a team. If you’re talking about my defense, nobody’s guarding nobody anyway.”

He added, “I just want to play because I still love the game. I feel like I can help a team win.”

See social media saluting Wall for taking his mental health seriously below.

John Wall Revealing His Near-Suicide Attempt Sheds Like On Black Men’s Mental Health And Therapy  was originally published on